Kelsey Parker has spoken movingly about the complicated emotions she is carrying as the first anniversary of her stillborn son Phoenix’s death approaches.
The 36-year-old influencer, who is currently expecting a baby with her partner Will Lindsay, admitted that she still “deeply misses” her little boy while also feeling hopeful about the next chapter of her family’s life.
Phoenix was stillborn at 39 weeks in June 2025, leaving Kelsey and Will devastated.
His first anniversary falls on Father’s Day, making the date especially painful for a family already carrying the loss of Kelsey’s late husband, The Wanted singer Tom Parker.
Tom died from brain cancer on March 30, 2022, aged 33.
He shared two children with Kelsey — daughter Aurelia, six, and son Bodhi, four — who must now face another Father’s Day without him.
Explaining why she had been unusually quiet on social media, Kelsey told followers that she had been trying to remain occupied while preparing herself emotionally for Sunday.
“I’ve been really quiet on here the last couple of days,” she wrote.
“Truthfully, I’ve been working a lot, trying to keep busy and just processing the fact that Sunday is a big day.”
Kelsey continued: “It’s Phoenix’s first anniversary and it’s Father’s Day too.”
She acknowledged that grief does not follow a predictable pattern and can return without warning, even when someone believes they are coping.
“Grief is a strange thing,” she wrote. “Some days you can keep going and stay busy, and other days it all catches up with you.”
The mother-of-two said she was gradually learning that sorrow and happiness could exist together.
Her current pregnancy has brought excitement and gratitude, but it has not erased her love for Phoenix or the pain of imagining the life he should have had.
“I’m learning that both things can exist at once,” Kelsey explained.
“I can feel excited about this next chapter of life, be grateful for everything I have, and still deeply miss my little boy and wish things had been different.”
Kelsey also offered words of support to followers who may be approaching their own painful anniversaries or privately carrying a difficult loss.
“If you’re navigating grief, anniversaries or simply carrying something heavy right now, please know you’re not alone,” she said.
She ended the message with the phrase that has become central to her outlook since Tom’s death: “Stop waiting, start living.”
However, she added an important reminder that attempting to live fully does not mean suppressing grief.
“Give yourself permission to feel it all,” Kelsey wrote.
Supporters responded with compassionate messages, assuring her that she and her family remained in their thoughts.
One repeated her personal motto, writing: “Stop waiting, start living.”
Another told her: “Sending all the love, my beauty.”
Others shared similar messages of comfort as the emotional anniversary approached.
Kelsey and Will announced in May that they were expecting another child.
Their pregnancy announcement featured an ultrasound image surrounded by crystals and a white feather.
The carefully arranged photograph reflected Kelsey’s belief that the baby was connected symbolically to both Tom and Phoenix.
“A year ago next month, we lost our beautiful baby boy, Phoenix,” she wrote at the time.
“And somehow, through all the heartbreak, it feels like Tom and Phoenix have sent us another little gift from heaven — our little rainbow baby.”
The phrase “rainbow baby” is commonly used to describe a child welcomed after a miscarriage, stillbirth or infant loss.
For many families, a pregnancy after loss can bring enormous happiness alongside fear, anxiety and renewed grief.
Kelsey’s announcement captured that mixture of emotions rather than suggesting the new baby could replace the son she lost.
Phoenix remains part of the family’s story, and she has continued speaking his name publicly.
Kelsey’s life changed completely when Tom was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour in 2020.
The singer, best known as a member of The Wanted, underwent treatment while documenting his determination to spend as much time as possible with Kelsey and their children.
His death less than two years later left Kelsey raising Aurelia and Bodhi without their father.
She has since spoken candidly about widowhood, parenting through grief and the criticism she faced after eventually entering a new relationship.
Finding happiness with Will represented a significant step forward, but their joy at expecting a baby was followed by another unimaginable loss.
Kelsey went into natural labour unexpectedly at 39 weeks.
She previously explained that there was no time for a midwife to reach her in person, although one attempted to guide those present through the birth using FaceTime.
Phoenix was born without signs of life.
“There was no way a midwife was getting to me,” Kelsey recalled during a recent Good Morning Britain interview.
“We actually had her on FaceTime. Phoenix was born, and he was sleeping. He was stillborn.”
She added: “You could just see that he was no longer with us.”
Kelsey has also described feeling deeply distressed by the official response following the home birth.
Police attended and, according to Kelsey, treated the property like a crime scene while the circumstances were investigated.
She said the experience made her feel as though she were being treated like a criminal during one of the most traumatic moments of her life.
Her account reflected her personal experience of the officers’ response, and the supplied report does not include a statement from the police regarding the incident.
Kelsey has nevertheless argued that bereaved parents should receive greater compassion and sensitivity immediately after pregnancy loss.
The trauma of losing Phoenix was intensified by the fact that she and Will had reached the final stage of the pregnancy and expected to bring their son home.
They had prepared emotionally and practically for his arrival, only to leave without him.
As the anniversary approaches, memories of the birth and its aftermath are likely to feel especially vivid.
The fact that it falls on Father’s Day adds another layer to the family’s grief.
For Aurelia and Bodhi, the occasion is already associated with remembering Tom.
Kelsey has worked to preserve their father’s memory, speaking openly about him and ensuring the children understand how deeply he loved them.
Now Father’s Day will also carry the memory of Phoenix and Will’s loss as a father.
Kelsey has repeatedly explained that grief remains present even as life continues.
She has faced criticism for rebuilding her personal life after Tom’s death, but has insisted that moving forward does not mean leaving him behind.
Her relationship with Will and her current pregnancy exist alongside her continuing love for Tom and Phoenix.
The expectant mother’s latest message emphasised that emotional complexity.
She did not attempt to present her pregnancy as a simple happy ending.
Instead, she acknowledged that preparing for another baby can bring thoughts of the child who should also be there.
The new pregnancy may provide hope, but it can also reopen fears created by the stillbirth.
Kelsey has not shared every detail about how she is managing those anxieties.
However, her words suggest she is allowing herself to feel both excitement and sadness without judging either emotion.
Her decision to speak publicly may offer comfort to other parents who feel guilty about experiencing joy after loss or sadness during a subsequent pregnancy.
There is no correct timetable for grief, and significant dates can trigger intense reactions even when considerable time has passed.
Anniversaries, birthdays and family occasions may all serve as reminders of the person who is missing.
Kelsey said that keeping busy had helped during the days leading up to Phoenix’s anniversary, but she understood that work could not prevent every emotion from surfacing.
Some days, she can focus on her children, career and future.
On others, the reality of what happened “catches up” with her.
Her phrase “stop waiting, start living” developed from the lessons she took from Tom’s illness.
Watching her husband die at such a young age changed how Kelsey viewed time and encouraged her to embrace opportunities rather than postponing happiness.
Yet her addition — “give yourself permission to feel it all” — showed how that philosophy has evolved.
Living does not require someone to stop mourning.
Hope does not cancel heartbreak, and a new baby does not erase the child who died.
Kelsey’s current pregnancy has been described as a gift following several years of extraordinary loss.
The family will eventually welcome a new member, but Phoenix’s name and memory will remain part of their home.
Sunday is likely to be filled with conflicting emotions: gratitude for the children Kelsey can hold, remembrance of Tom and longing for the son she cannot.
By sharing those feelings, she has refused to hide the reality of grief behind a cheerful pregnancy announcement.
She is excited about her rainbow baby and the future she is building with Will.
At the same time, she wishes the past had unfolded differently and that Phoenix were approaching his first birthday.
Both truths can exist together.
As the anniversary arrives, Kelsey is not asking followers to provide answers or take away her sadness.
Her message is instead one of recognition for anyone carrying a similar burden.
She will continue working, parenting, loving and preparing for the new baby.
She will also grieve for Tom and deeply miss Phoenix.
For Kelsey Parker, moving forward has never meant forgetting.
It means continuing to live while carrying every person she has loved into the next chapter with her.
