Vernon Kay, the beloved BBC Radio 2 DJ and television host, has opened up about the evolving dynamic of his family and the important lessons he and his wife, former Strictly Come Dancing host Tess Daly, are instilling in their daughters, Phoebe and Amber. The 51-year-old father of two spoke candidly about his views on parenting, focusing on hard work, independence, and the desire to avoid the pitfalls of nepotism that often come with fame.
Vernon and Tess, both household names in the UK, have made it clear that despite their fame and success, their daughters will not be handed everything on a silver platter. Phoebe, 21, and Amber, 16, are growing up in an environment vastly different from the one their parents knew, and Vernon admits that navigating their transition into adulthood has been both exciting and challenging.
The couple, who have always been very hands-on with their children’s upbringing, are determined to raise their daughters with a strong work ethic, teaching them that success is earned rather than given. “Now that Phoebe is 21 and Amber is nearly 17, our relationship with them is changing,” Vernon shared in a recent interview. “We talk about encouraging them to leave the nest and become independent, but we don’t really want them to. It’s a tough pill to swallow.”
Vernon and Tess have always emphasized the importance of self-reliance. Despite their high-profile careers, they are adamant that Phoebe and Amber will carve out their own paths, without relying on the fame and connections of their parents. “We’re not going to give them everything,” Vernon explained. “It’s important for them to work for what they want, and I want them to understand that.”
This mindset comes at a time when the term “nepo babies” is a hot topic in the media. The phrase, which refers to children of famous parents who leverage their family connections to further their own careers, has sparked significant discussion, especially in Hollywood and the entertainment industry. However, Vernon is determined that his daughters will not be part of that narrative.
While Phoebe has embraced the influencer lifestyle, sharing moments from her enviable life with a growing Instagram following, Vernon remains firm in his belief that her success, and that of Amber’s, will be built on their own achievements. Phoebe, who is currently studying film production, made her red carpet debut at the John Wick: Chapter 4 premiere in 2023. Though proud of her accomplishments, Vernon emphasizes that these experiences should not define their futures.
“I was so proud to take Phoebe to Ibiza to celebrate the end of her A-Levels,” he recalled. “It was a special trip, filled with beautiful memories. But even in those glamorous moments, we make sure they understand the importance of hard work and independence. I want them to remember that it’s not about the glamorous lifestyle—they need to earn everything they get.”
This notion of independence is something that Vernon and Tess have continually stressed to their children. In addition to celebrating Phoebe’s A-Level results with a lavish vacation, Vernon also reflects on the anxiety he and Tess experienced when their daughter began going out clubbing. “We had fears that didn’t exist for us growing up,” he confessed. “With the dangers that come with today’s world, especially when it comes to drink spiking and other risks, we’ve had to adjust to the reality that their lives are different from ours.”
This shift in the family dynamic, with both daughters approaching adulthood, has brought about some emotional moments for Vernon and Tess. “You have to learn to enter their world, and that world has pitfalls that just didn’t exist for us,” he explained. “We’re still figuring it out, and as parents, we do our best to protect them while letting them become their own people.”
Despite the challenges that come with raising children in the public eye, Vernon is proud of how his daughters are turning out. “Phoebe has done great things already, and Amber is on the same path,” he said. “It’s all about balance. We want them to be grounded, not just focused on the perks of being the children of famous parents. They’ve got to go out and graft, just like we did.”
Vernon and Tess’s commitment to this approach to parenting is clear, and it’s evident that their daughters will be expected to carve out their own identities in the world. Whether that means following in their parents’ footsteps or forging their own path, the Kay family’s focus remains on ensuring that Phoebe and Amber lead successful, fulfilling lives based on their own hard work and determination.
The couple’s support for their daughters extends beyond career advice. Despite the glamorous events and red carpet moments, the most important lessons Vernon and Tess want to impart are about self-respect, responsibility, and perseverance. “At the end of the day, they need to understand that success comes from within—not just from who your parents are,” Vernon said.
For the Kay family, the journey of raising independent, driven daughters is far from over. As Vernon and Tess watch Phoebe and Amber mature into adulthood, they remain committed to guiding them with love, wisdom, and the encouragement to face life on their own terms. “It’s not about fame or privilege,” Vernon concluded. “It’s about building a strong foundation for their futures, and we’re here to make sure they do it the right way.”
As Vernon continues to navigate this new phase of fatherhood, he remains focused on ensuring that his daughters grow into confident, hardworking women who will make their own mark on the world—without relying on the legacy of their famous parents.
