Ruth Langsford has tearfully shared the emotional impact of her sister Julia’s tragic suicide in an interview, revealing how the devastating loss has shaped her life and left her with lingering questions she will never have answers to.
Julia Johnson, Ruth’s beloved sister, was found dead at the age of 62 by her husband, Paul, at their home in Lingfield, Surrey, in June 2019. Julia had struggled with depression for years, and despite Ruth’s ongoing support, the family was left grappling with the heartbreaking reality of losing her.
The Struggle to Understand
Speaking on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast, Ruth candidly explained the immense pain of losing a loved one to suicide. “I think suicide is just, it’s such a tragedy, and the people left behind are just left not knowing why,” she shared through tears. “And your question is just: ‘Why? Why? Why? Why?'”
Ruth continued, expressing that the hardest part of her grieving process was accepting that she would never understand why Julia chose to end her life. “As time has gone on, I’ve accepted that I’ll never know why and nothing will bring her back,” she said. “The only way that I can make any sense of it and stop it hurting is to just know she didn’t want to be here and nothing I could have done could have changed that really.”
Despite her anguish, Ruth emphasized how she constantly questioned herself, wondering if there was something more she could have done for her sister. “You just think you could have done something. Why didn’t we see it? How could we not have seen it? Why didn’t she talk to us?” Ruth reflected. “And there are no answers because she’ll never be able to tell us why.”
Grief, Work, and Moving Forward
Ruth admitted that, although the pain is still raw, she found comfort in returning to work. After the passing of her sister, Ruth said she faced moments of deep sorrow, where she had “no motivation or desire” to be in the public eye. However, with the encouragement of her then-husband Eamonn Holmes, she decided to return to her career. “Work has always been my saviour,” Ruth said. “You need to get back out there.”
Ruth explained that, while she grieved privately, having a focus helped her manage the overwhelming sadness. “I would cry in the shower – have a big old bawl – and then I could almost cut it off and go: ‘Right, come on, time for work, dry your hair, go to work.'”
A Heartfelt Tribute to Her Sister
Ruth also shared her raw grief with her Loose Women co-star, Kaye Adams, in 2023, emphasizing the importance of not bottling up the pain. “I can’t even tell you what year it is, because I’ve blocked it from my memory really,” she shared, alluding to how deeply the loss has affected her. Despite the pain, Ruth has shown resilience by acknowledging that grief cannot be ignored, and it is important to give space for emotions rather than pretending to be unaffected.
In June 2019, following Julia’s death, Ruth posted a tribute to her sister on Instagram, writing: “My lovely Sis Julia has sadly died after a very long illness. My heart is completely broken. She was the kindest and most gentle soul and I will miss her forever.”
The Ongoing Grief
Ruth’s grief remains ever-present, and she continues to miss her sister deeply. Yet, Ruth shared that she has come to a place of acceptance and understanding: that nothing could have changed Julia’s decision, and that she must carry the memory of her sister with her as a part of her life moving forward.
Ruth’s openness about her grief and the challenges she faces as she continues her healing journey serves as a poignant reminder of the deep impact that loss can have on a person, and how important it is to allow oneself to grieve while also finding strength in the people around us.
