Ruth Langsford has shared her ongoing heartbreak after her sister Julia’s suicide in 2019. Speaking on Fearne Cotton’s Happy Place podcast, Ruth, 66, opened up about the overwhelming grief she continues to grapple with and the unanswered questions that linger after her sister’s tragic death.
Julia, who had struggled with depression for years, was found dead by her husband, Paul, at their home in Lingfield, Surrey, in June 2019. Ruth described how the pain of losing her sister has left her with haunting questions she feels she will never have the answers to.
Reflecting on the unimaginable tragedy, Ruth said, “Suicide is just such a tragedy. The people left behind are just left not knowing why. Your question is just: ‘Why? Why? And why?’”
She shared the emotional toll these questions have taken, admitting that she will never truly understand why Julia made that decision. Ruth has come to accept that she may never get the answers she seeks and that nothing will bring Julia back.
However, Ruth has tried to find some comfort by understanding that Julia “didn’t want to be here” and that, despite her best efforts, there was nothing she could have done to change the outcome. Despite the overwhelming grief, Ruth revealed three specific questions that have haunted her since Julia’s passing: Why didn’t we see it? Why didn’t she talk to us? Why? Why? And why?
As time has passed, Ruth has come to realize that Julia wouldn’t want her to live a “sad life” and has pushed herself to continue working, which she credits as her “saviour” through the hardest times.
In a previous interview, Ruth admitted how 2019 was the “hardest year” of her life. At one point, she even contemplated quitting her career. She confessed, “It seemed wrong to be cheery on the screen, when inside, my heart was breaking.” Despite this, Ruth found the strength to continue working, using her career as a way to cope with the grief.
Ruth’s vulnerability and openness about her grief have resonated with many, as she continues to process the loss of her sister while honoring her memory.
