Monty Don, the beloved gardening expert, has bravely opened up about his long-standing battle with depression, revealing how it not only impacted his career but also put a strain on his marriage. In a candid conversation with Gyles Brandreth on The Rosebud Podcast, Monty shared deeply personal details of his emotional struggles, from the failure of his jewellery business to the threat of his wife Sarah Erskine leaving him. His story is one of hardship, resilience, and eventual healing, helped by Prozac, fame, and the unwavering support of his family.
A ‘Shameful’ Depression: The Breaking Point
Monty Don, now 70, spoke about a time when his mental health hit rock bottom. The failure of a jewellery business that he had co-founded with Sarah led him into a “shameful” spiral of depression. The business, which had once catered to high-profile clients like Princess Diana, collapsed after the 1987 stock market crash, severely impacting the couple’s financial situation. This downfall led to their bankruptcy, forcing them to sell their properties and leave Monty on Jobseeker’s Allowance.
“That whole period was very dark,” Monty explained. “I felt angry, difficult, and not someone you want to live with.” His deep sense of failure and despair had a profound effect on his marriage to Sarah, whom he married in 1983. Monty revealed that at one point, Sarah, understandably at her breaking point, gave him an ultimatum. She said, “Either you move out, or I’m taking the children and moving out. I’m with you, I love you, but we can’t go on living with you like this.”
Monty admits that hearing this was a huge wake-up call. “It would have killed me,” he said. The realization that he was on the verge of losing everything, including his family, pushed him to seek professional help. The moment was pivotal, and Monty credits it as the turning point in his journey toward recovery.
Prozac: The Turning Point
Monty went on to describe how he sought medical help and was prescribed Prozac, an antidepressant that had a transformative effect on him. “I remember washing up at the kitchen sink and noticing how beautiful the light was on the leaves in the hedge opposite… I suddenly felt—I don’t feel sad. I feel okay,” he recalled. For Monty, this moment was nothing short of life-changing.
Prozac, which boosts serotonin levels in the brain, worked wonders for Monty. “For about six months, it felt like I was on holiday in a nice seaside town, and the sun was shining. Wonderful,” he said, describing the clarity and joy he felt for the first time in years. However, after years of relying on the medication, Monty found himself questioning whether the effects were still a result of the drug or whether he had simply found a way to “feel normal.”
Eventually, Monty decided to wean himself off Prozac with the help of his doctor. “I went to the doctor and said I want to come off, and it takes about six months—you wean yourself off—and I’ve never been back,” he explained. Despite stopping the medication, Monty has continued to manage his mental health through other means, including therapy and, notably, his work on television.
The Role of Fame in His Recovery
Monty also attributed a significant part of his recovery to the unexpected gift of fame. His breakthrough came when the BBC offered him the opportunity to host Around the World in 80 Gardens, a series that took him on a journey to explore the world’s most stunning gardens. “The biggest help in my life is about 19 years ago, the BBC offered me a series,” Monty explained. For the first time, he spent most of the winter in the southern hemisphere, visiting places like Australia, South America, Thailand, and India.
Interestingly, Monty confessed that fame seemed to suit him. “Sarah says, ‘Fame really suits you,'” he shared. He believes that being in the public eye, receiving validation and applause, had a positive impact on his mental health. “Being applauded, if you’re someone who likes being on stage, being applauded is good for your health,” he said, reflecting on how public appreciation and recognition helped boost his confidence and well-being.
Fame gave Monty the validation he needed, and the opportunity to connect with an audience through his work in gardening and television provided him with a sense of purpose and pride. Monty admitted that hearing 2,000 people at a time say, “It’s Monty Don, we love him,” during live shows made him feel valued and appreciated. He describes this as the “sunshine” that he had been lacking during the darkest days of his depression.
The Importance of Family and Support
Monty’s recovery wouldn’t have been possible without the unconditional support of his wife Sarah and their three children. Throughout his depression, Sarah remained by his side, despite the immense strain it placed on their marriage. Her ultimatum, though tough, ultimately led Monty to seek the help he needed. “She said, ‘Look, either you move out or I’m taking the children,'” Monty said. The threat of losing his family forced him to confront his depression head-on. “And of course, I was slightly unaware… I was angry, I was difficult,” he admitted.
Sarah’s role in his recovery extended beyond the difficult conversations. She recognized that Monty’s work in television was a source of joy and fulfillment for him. “Fame really suits you,” Sarah told him, acknowledging the positive impact his career had on his mental health. With Sarah’s support and encouragement, Monty found the strength to face his mental health issues, gradually overcoming the despair that once held him captive.
Monty’s Battle with Cancer: A Past of Triumph Over Adversity
Monty’s struggle with depression was compounded by a traumatic event from his childhood. At the age of 10, Monty was diagnosed with marrow cancer after falling and injuring his elbow while playing football. “They had found something in the X-ray… a tumour,” he recalled. Monty underwent surgery to remove the bone and scrape the marrow, a procedure that left him with a lifelong scar. He was also subjected to a year of radiotherapy, which he surprisingly described as something he “loved.” For Monty, the radiotherapy treatments meant spending quality time with his mother, away from the pressures of his larger family.
The experience shaped Monty’s outlook on life, and he often reflects on it as a pivotal moment that instilled resilience and strength in him. “It’s amazing I had children,” Monty said, emphasizing how the traumatic experience ultimately helped him develop a deeper appreciation for life and family.
Finding Peace in the Gardens
Monty Don’s journey through depression and personal hardship ultimately led him to find solace in the very thing that made him a household name: gardening. His deep connection to the natural world and the act of cultivating life in the soil became a form of therapy in itself. Monty credits his gardening work as the place where he found peace, joy, and stability, particularly after years of emotional turmoil.
In conclusion, Monty Don’s battle with depression is a story of overcoming adversity, fueled by love, family, professional engagement, and, perhaps unexpectedly, fame. His openness about his struggles has been an inspiration to many, offering hope to those who may find themselves in similar dark places. Through his personal journey, Monty has shown that recovery is possible, and that, with the right support and tools, it’s possible to rebuild even the most broken parts of ourselves.
