For over 20 years, Vernon Kay and Tess Daly have been the epitome of love, stability, and family pride. The television power couple has weathered countless highs and lows together, raising two daughters—Phoebe, 21, and Amber, 16—who have blossomed into independent young women right before their eyes. But now, as their daughters step into adulthood, Vernon and Tess are facing a painful and emotional shift in their family dynamics—one that has left them grappling with feelings of both pride and loss.
In an exclusive interview with The Times, Vernon opened up about the overwhelming changes that are shaking their family to its core. As their daughters become more independent, Vernon admits that their once-close relationship with them is evolving—and it’s not easy to accept.
“The relationship with them is changing,” Vernon confessed, his voice heavy with emotion. “Phoebe is 21, Amber is nearly 17, and it feels like we’re standing at the edge of something big. Our girls are growing up, and we’re struggling to let go.”
This marks the beginning of a new chapter for the Kay family—a chapter where Vernon and Tess are learning to embrace the painful reality of their children becoming independent adults. They now face the emotional battle of knowing their daughters’ futures are no longer in their hands. As proud parents, they want the best for Phoebe and Amber, but that doesn’t mean they are ready for them to leave the nest.
“We talk about encouraging them to go out and be independent,” Vernon continued, “but, honestly, we don’t want them to. It’s a tough one. You have to learn to enter their world, and that world has pitfalls that didn’t exist for us back in the day.”
The couple’s heartache is palpable, and it’s clear that this family upheaval is hitting them harder than expected. Vernon shared how, in the past, they never had to worry about the dangers their daughters now face, particularly the terrifying reality of drink spiking—something that wasn’t on their radar when they were growing up.
“It’s a completely different world for them,” Vernon added, his frustration and concern spilling over. “When Phoebe started going out, we became acutely aware of drink spiking. That never happened in the ’90s. These are things that didn’t exist in our world.”
Despite the growing distance between them and their daughters, Vernon and Tess are committed to instilling one powerful lesson in Phoebe and Amber: hard work. In a society where instant gratification often takes precedence, the Kay family values perseverance above all else.
“We’ve tried to teach them the importance of grafting,” Vernon explained. “You have to work for everything. Nothing’s going to be handed to you. That’s something Tess and I have always believed in, and we want them to carry that with them.”
But as their daughters explore the paths they will carve out for themselves, Vernon is firm in his stance: “Your mum and I aren’t going to give you everything. You need to find your own way, even if that means some tough lessons along the way.”
And speaking of milestones, Phoebe recently made the bold decision to leave the UK behind and move to New York, marking the beginning of a new journey far from home. The decision has been a bittersweet one for Vernon and Tess, who both expressed their pride in Phoebe’s independence, while secretly struggling with the empty space she left behind.
As Phoebe embarks on her studies in the city that never sleeps, she shared an emotional video from the heart of New York, dancing with the Empire State Building in the background. “NYC has my hearttt! Lucky to call it home for a while,” she captioned the video, cementing her new life across the Atlantic.
Vernon couldn’t have been prouder of his daughter. He took to social media to celebrate her 21st birthday with a heartfelt tribute. “HAPPYBIRTHDAY @phoebeekay 21Today!! The celebrations are gonna be epic!! You’re the best any parent could ask for,” he wrote, his message brimming with love and admiration.
Tess, too, shared her own emotional message, marking Phoebe’s milestone with tears of joy. “21, what a milestone,” she wrote. “Could not be more proud of our brilliant girl Phoebe on her big birthday. Here’s to celebrating how special you are @phoebeekay.”
But as they send their firstborn off into the world, Vernon and Tess can’t help but face the crushing reality that the family they once knew is no more. The Kay household will never be the same, and while they are thrilled to see their daughters spread their wings, the heartache of letting go is undeniable.
As this beloved family faces one of the toughest transitions of their lives, one thing is clear: the Kay’s journey is far from over. It’s just the beginning of a new, emotional chapter. And as they watch their daughters take on the world, they know one thing for sure—they’ll be right behind them, cheering them on every step of the way.
